Iesus Non Amat Me

I opted for sleep last night, so welcome to my not-quite-liveblog of the Oscars as I watch my recording. I've been very good about not looking at my phone or listening to the radio or going anywhere that could spoil me, so I'm watching as though it's being shown for the very first time:

( This is gonna be long... )

Final Results:

Caroline: 7/10
Emma: 5/10
Random Number Generator: 2/10
Paul: 1/10

Woot! I'm the Oscars champion!

Here we have the final results of our predictions game... drum roll please...

Caroline: 47 (14/24)
Paul: 25 (9/24)
Random Number Generator: 12 (3/24)

WOOT! COCKTAIL, HERE I COME!

I successfully managed to predict Best Picture, Best Director, and all the acting awards. I should have bet money on this thing!

And, now, on to the dress report:

( Ones I Liked )

( Ones I'm Not Sure About )

( Ones I Don't Like )

And, finally, I always post my favourite Not A Dress and this year it's

( Not A Dress )

Wait... what's going on now? Is NPH naked?

( He's..... )

They're promising one of the favourite dresses of the night, this should be interesting...

( Drum Roll.... )

*blows dust off journal*

Hey, so I know it's been well over a year since I've actually posted anything here but it's Oscar night and I need to keep myself awake and I have fond memories of liveblogging this event in the past so I thought I would give it another go. Tumblr doesn't really lend itself to the liveblog as well as LJ does.

So far I've seen some people discussing the nominated films and the general consensus seems to be that Selma should have got more nominations, American Sniper is absolutely terrible in every single way, and Boyhood and Birdman are pretentious, overrated and boring. So one of the latter two is definitely going to win then!

As usual Paul and I have made our predictions and this year we have £10 on the line. Well, £10 of something next time I'm in London. If I win I'm going for a cocktail, obviously. I don't know what Paul's thinking of going for, but hopefully I won't find out because I'M GOING TO WIN THIS THING! (maybe)

Also, Mickey from Doctor Who is in the UK studio. It's weird. I keep expecting him to pull out a giant gun and shoot some aliens.

Ooh, dresses! Yes! First up Felicity Jones. Very nice, I approve. =D

Something just happened. I'm not sure what. But now Sandra Bullock is here to talk about her contact lens so we're back on track.

Film Editing: Argo. Points for Paul and the Random Number Generator.

Adele is singing. She's so good.

Colin Salmon says he likes Adele because "no vocal gymnastics, just a beautiful voice." YES. I hate vocal gymnastics so much.

And now we have Nicole Kidman introducing the final three Best Picture nominees. I've not seen any of these either, but I really do want to see Silver Linings Playbook.

Daniel Radcliffe and Kristen Stewart have just come out. I think Kristen is either drunk or stoned. Possibly both.

Production Design: Lincoln. No points for anyone here.

Hey George Clooney. I know someone on Tumblr who'll be going crazy right about now. Oh, he's doing the In Memoriam section. Time to be sad.

Huh. I was expecting more.

Yay, Chicago cast! It's been ten years since that won? Seriously? Actually yeah, that sounds right. I would have been at uni. I feel old.

Original Score: Life of Pi. Well done, Paul.

Original Song: Skyfall. Excellent speech, Adele! And points all round, including for the Random Number Generator this time.

Dustin Hoffman and Charlize Theron are here to present some writing awards. I wish they'd be a bit quicker about it, I'm really flagging here.

Adapted Screenplay: Argo. No points for us.

Original Screenplay: Django Unchained. Paul is rapidly catching up with me.

Everyone in the studio thinks Ang Lee is going to win best director.

Best Director: Ang Lee, Life of Pi. Congratulations studio.

You keep making jokes about this show being long but you don't do anything about it Seth MacFarlane why do you taunt me in this way I just want to go to bed oh god I need sleep but I've made it this far and I'm going to see it through to the end dammit despite what it's doing to my sanity and my use of punctuation.

Best Actress: Jennifer Lawrence. I'm so happy. I love you, Jennifer Lawrence!

They're going through the Best Actor nominees and Hugh Jackman just waved at the camera and I love him so much.

Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis. I love how Meryl Streep read that. Not even the slightest pause, just "and the Oscar goes to Daniel Day-Lewis."

Oh just get on with it and present the award. Oh, Michelle Obama is going to present it is she? No, she's introducing it. Oh god, this is going to take forever. And now she's presenting it.

Best Picture: Argo.

Does this mean I can sleep now? Oh thank god. I shall be back tomorrow, or later today rather, to add up the scores but at first glance I think Paul has won by one point, which pisses me off so much after I started so well!

Goodnight!

Aaaaand here we go. Seth MacFarlane seems an odd choice but we shall see. Is he going to do a musical number?

Ok, good joke about Argo there. Poor Ben Affleck.

Is that guy wearing a banana pin?

Hey, Captain Kirk. Of course. This makes perfect sense. And yes, Seth is going to do a musical number. About boobs. I'm not quite sure what I'm watching here.

Another musical number already? Neat. I do love how this has become a thing with the Oscars now.

And now I don't need to see Flight. The real thing couldn't possibly be as good as the sockpuppet version.

More singing and dancing. When Daniel Radcliffe said he would be performing later this is not what I expected.

I'm actually really liking this whole Captain Kirk skit.

And now they're all singing an Oscar version of Be Our Guest. I... I think I love it.

Ok, well done Seth MacFarlane. You have won me over.

And now we're on to the actual awards. Best Supporting Actor is first. And the winner is... Christoph Waltz. This is good for me since I am now one up on both Paul and the Random Number Generator. Hopefully I can continue this success!

Oh my god, Paul Rudd and Melissa McCarthy just get on with it. You're not funny and this is painful. It's Best Animated Short. Paperman won and I am continuing with my success.

And straight on to Best Animated Film. It went to Brave. I'm actually shocked even though I predicted it!

Can we stop the Oscars now? I like this 100% success rate I'm currently on!

They're now introducing some of the Best Picture nominees. Les Mis is first and oh I love it so much.

Back to the awards now:

Cinematography: Life of Pi. That's 4/4 for me. This is going to hurt so much more when I get one wrong!

Visual Effects: Life of Pi. Ah well, my winning streak couldn't last forever. Congratulations to both Paul and the Random Number Generator for their first points!

Are... are they being played off by the Jaws theme?

So we have Alex Zane as the host of our bit again. And with him we have the reviews editor of Heat magazine Boyd Hilton, fashionista Antonia O'Brien, and actor Colin Salmon. And Lucy Cotter on the red carpet as usual. I wonder if she'll actually talk to anyone this year.

The men do not like Les Miserables. What.

Oh hey, Kristin Chenoweth. Does this mean that once again Lucy Cotter isn't actually talking to anyone on the red carpet? Yes, I think that's exactly what it means.

Jessica Chastain is looking rather pretty.

Amanda Seyfried is also looking very pretty, although she's apparently on the verge of losing her internal organs. Good to know.

Jennifer Lawrence is a giant. A gorgeous giant. Although I'm not a huge fan of that style of dress.

Zoe Saldana is looking lovely. I'm not sure about her dress either though.

Catherine Zeta-Jones is very shiny.

Hey, Daniel Radcliffe.

That's a very metallic dress Naomi Watts.

Nicole Kidman is a stick. I think I want to hate that dress but it actually works on her. Weird.

That is not a dress, Charlize Theron, and I do not approve of it.

Ok, it's time. I am already tired, which isn't a good sign. And the cat keeps trying to jump on my laptop. I'm not sure if he wants to write his own posts or just stop me from saying anything. Either way he's not happy with me for shifting him off.

Hey, Tonks from the Harry Potter films is on the discussion panel. Cool.

Lucy Cotter is on the red carpet. Hopefully she'll have better luck this year since I seem to remember that last time she was in such a bad position that we had to cut to an American feed in order to actually see anything. Judging by how few people are around her I'm not hopeful.

Hmm, I don't think I'm going to last. I'm thinking about recording it and watching it tomorrow when I get in from work. It's not quite the same, which will be a shame, but I'm not sure I'm going to enjoy it tonight and what's the point of forcing myself to watch something I'm not going to enjoy?

Of course if I find out who's won it won't be as fun either, but I can try to avoid that.It'll be like that episode of How I Met Your Mother where they record the Superbowl and try to make it through the day without finding out who won. (I'm not hopeful about my chances for that either. Especially not with the big awards.) QQQQQQQQQQQQQQ

And those 'Q's are from McGee, who is once again trying to climb on my laptop. I think he's judging me.

Well, last night was fun. Although I feel very bleh today. I think I need to go do something that doesn't require any brainpower now. But first, as promised, my dresses roundup post.

( Ones I Liked )

( Ones I'm Not Sure About )

( Ones I Didn't Like )

No final Not a Dress this year because there weren't any guys who looked interesting enough to bother to post. :(