*Can't think of a title*

[crystalcazzie]

I feel like I'm going backwards. I thought I was getting better with the people and crowds thing and then I find myself nearly in tears in Virgin because I can't take it and having anxiety attacks just from walking down the street.

I told Nicola, she suggested I might need to up my meds and I should talk to my doctor about it. She also suggested I ask her for one that I really cannot remember the name of, except that it began with D, that I would take only when I felt anxious and I should use when I go to America. You know, so I don't panic on the plane. That would be interesting.

"Hey, are you afraid of flying?"
"No, I love flying. It's the airport I'm afraid of."

I hope she's mentioned it in the computer notes or somewhere cos the chances of me actually asking for it are slim to none. Especially since I don't recall what it actually was.

Of course I know I'm going to get worse the next few days since I've come to the end of my current prescription and won't get a new one till my appointment on Tuesday. Because I am too scared to do the repeat prescription thing. Bask in the pathetic glory of me!

Comments

[jenithegreat.livejournal.com]

You just got a big wigged is all. I get panicky and spaz out sometimes too.

D... Dooo I don't know. Dexatrim? No Um. I dont know.

She probably did, pretty sure she would have.

*hugs* I love you even if you're still horribly painfully shy and all that.

[crystalcazzie.livejournal.com]

I have to ask....a big wigged?

[jenithegreat.livejournal.com]

Should have been bit, a bit wigged. I will learn how to type one day I swear. Still love me?

[crystalcazzie.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I was afraid that was it because frankly that kinda pisses me off. I don't like being told what I feel or having my feelings belittled like that.

I still love you though.

[jenithegreat.livejournal.com]

I, um, sorry...

I guess what I was going for didn't work. I was trying to make you feel better and all that. But now it seems that what I said wasnt the best way to go about doing that. I should have probably said, I'm sorry that you feel your going backwards and that you're having anxiety attacks. Should have said something about how I love you and if I knew of any way to help you I would, that I'd do anything to make you feel better.

I should have been more sensitive to your feelings instead of belittling what you feel/felt at that time (even though I dont mean to). I'm sorry, and I'll try my best to double, triple think my responses and make sure I'm getting out what I really mean to say.

I hope you accept my apology and just hit me over the head lightly for being inconsiderate, stupid, etc.

[crystalcazzie.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, I'm just oversensitive to things like that. It's something about me, I think stemming from being told so many times that "everybody feels shy" and people not understanding that what I feel is so much more than that.

I love you.

[jenithegreat.livejournal.com]

No, I was a jerk. It's my fault not yours in any way.

I love you too.