Harbouring Violent Fantasies

[crystalcazzie]

I'm going to kill him.

I'm going to hunt him down and kill him while he sleeps. And I know that won't be much of a hunt but what do you expect when I'm so useless?

Yes folks, this is about my housemate again. This time he has decided to call me "absolutely fucking useless." But he's not content with saying it once, oh no, he has to say it many times in various different voices. His favourite is shouting "absolutely fucking useless" up the stairs in a strong Australian accent.

Such a nice guy.

I just thought I'd tell you because I do expect to be visited in prison, or perhaps a home for the criminally insane if I have to suffer living with him much longer.

Comments

[jenithegreat.livejournal.com]

Awww, sweetie. *big hugs*

I told you I'd kill him for you. This way you don't have to. And well I will now because he's being extra mean. He does realize he's like wicked old and acting like an immature pre-adolscent boy right?

I really do wanna kill him. He's being mean to CareBear, and no one should be mean to CareBear. You're too sweet, and cute, and adorable, and lovable to warrant violent verbal attacks.

I'd visit you in prison. And help you escape and we can be on the run from the law. We can have alias' and everything. But I'd prefer not running from the law and all, so please don't kill him. Let me kill me.

[crystalcazzie.livejournal.com]

Ok, you can kill him for me. But what if you get caught and have to go on the run from the law?

I'm thinking Canada. The traditional way for Americans to flee is Mexico so we'll go the other way and throw everyone off.

[jenithegreat.livejournal.com]

Yay! Because really, he angers me greatly. And if I get caught, well then yes we'll flee for Canada. And yay that you said 'we'll' meaning you and I, which is cool 'cause I wouldn't wanna run from the law alone. Nope.

[crystalcazzie.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, I wouldn't let you go alone. I'd be right there running with you.

[jenithegreat.livejournal.com]

Yay. We wouldn't have to really run would we? Could we just hitch a bus or a train or a boat or steal a car or something?