I'll Go By Myself Then. Maybe.

[crystalcazzie]

Ok, so no one wants to do things with me. That's fine. I'll just disown you all and find new friends. Or maybe I'll build some. Out of Lego and sticky back plastic. :p

So now I'm wondering if I should do the things I mentioned anyway, just by myself. I keep coming back to the 11th Hour convention and wondering if I should just buy a ticket, go on my own and see if I can make friends there. I am very tempted to do it. The trouble is that if I retreat into my shell as usual and fail to make friends then I'm stuck by myself for three days feeling sad and lonely. It's a risk, but maybe one I should take. Of course that may be the alcohol talking.

Yes, I am fairly tipsy right now. It's my parents' wedding anniversary so we've opened a bottle of fizz to celebrate. Mum and I only realised the significance of the day as I was checking the use-by date of my vegetable lasagne when I was trying to decide what to have for dinner. And then this happened:

Mum: 32 years. Murderers get less.
My mind: It can't be 32 years. They got married three years before I was born and... Oh god I'm old.

So... yeah. I'm getting old. I should take risks. I should go to conventions by myself and not be a total loser.

I find it funny and rather pathetic that 'going to conventions by myself' and 'total loser' are apparently opposites in my mind. Oh well.

Comments

[zero-bug.livejournal.com]

I really think you should go by yourself. You'll fit right in! You'll be with a bunch of like-minded people; they'll love you!

Plus, pushing boundaries and going outside of your comfort zone is a good way to get over anxiety blah blah blah. Or so they tell me.

[crystalcazzie.livejournal.com]

I hope you're right.

And yeah... I think I've heard that too, once or twice. Hasn't always worked out for me, but I suppose I can try again.