crystalcazzie: (Moulin Rouge Done Sex)
[personal profile] crystalcazzie
Secret Cinema was a mixture of good and bad. I wanted to like it a lot more than I did. I wanted to throw myself into it and enjoy it all without worrying and feeling self-conscious but, unfortunately, that's a lot easier said than done. I think my main problem was with the uncertainty of it all. During the first part of the evening there was no indication of what we were supposed to do and I hated that. I always like to know exactly what's expected of me and what I'm meant to be doing, but here I spent the whole time on edge worrying that I was going to get it wrong.

Then we moved into a room with loud music and a crowded dance floor, which has never been my idea of fun, so that did nothing to help my mood.

As we took our seats for the actual film I was feeling stressed, anxious, and hugely disappointed by this thing that I'd been so excited for for so long. And then it got a million times better. Moulin Rouge is one of my favourite films so I was determined to enjoy it anyway, but seeing the people acting it out on the stage in front of the screen was brilliant. And everyone sang along really loudly, which is exactly what I wanted because I love singing along but I didn't want to risk anyone hearing me. I also managed not to cry at the ending. Partly by imagining that this was all a clever ruse for Christian and Satine to escape and make new lives together, and partly by thinking about my icon.

So I left the experience feeling conflicted. I really wish I'd been able to enjoy the whole thing, because it was a spectacular set up and the costumes were amazing. I also worried far too much beforehand about making sure my costume was right. I could have worn almost anything as long as it was vaguely Moulin Rouge-esque and would have been fine. I kinda wish I had just worn a corset and Victorian skirt. I'd probably have felt more comfortable (emotionally, if not physically!)
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